"The Heart..."

 I sit here looking at the computer screen trying to process the day.  What a day...not one I care to repeat any time soon.  I had met with one of the nurses this morning, we both made the comment that it is Monday...a new day...a new week...hopefully we would not be repeating last weeks rough week.  But God had other plans for A Ward, which has become our pallative care ward.

The over head page came "Emergency medical team to A Ward...emergency medical team to A ward."  Immediately everyone on the medical team flies into motion.  Those not on the medical team know what to do...pray.

Last week Baby Annicette came back to us.  She was a with us in Benin last year.  Ani, was 14 months and only a former shadow of the thriving baby we remember her as.  For some reason she was no longer thriving...she was literally skin and bones...chronically malnourished.  The medical team suspected she may have had a metabolic disorder.

A few minutes later, my pager goes off.  "We need you to be with Ani's mom."  This is not good.  I go rushing down to A Ward and one of the nurses and I take Zenabou, Ani's mama, to a quiet room.  We sit with her, pray with her, cry with her.  Another nurse comes in and says "Ani is gone."  Quietly and gently we break the news to mama (who has already lost one child to this strange metabolic disorder and is currently four months pregnant)  "Ani is with Jesus."  We hold her.  Let her wail.  Feel her breaking heart.

This evening I go back to A ward.  I know a husband of a patient has come to see his wife.  She has cancer.  She is inoperable.  She is pallative.  He is hoping to be able to transfer her to France for surgery.  He is hoping his beautiful wife is better than the day before.

I had sat with her earlier today.  Her cold frail hand in mine.  Praying hard that the nurses, who were probing her feet, would find a viable vein to draw blood from would have success this time.  I look at her face.  She is so young, so beautiful.  I listen to her laboured breaths, thinking this is not going well.

As I walked into the ward tonight there is a flurry of activity going on.  I get one of my translators and we kneel beside the husband and pray with him.  Comfort him.  Pray peace over him.  The medical team is like an orchestra.  Each person knowing their part, each person playing their part...working in unity and harmony.  We take the husband to the same quiet room where Ani's mama was just an hour ago. 

The room is no longer quiet.  It becomes filled with the desperate pleas and cries of a man whose heart is breaking for the love of his life.  He shares with me she is everything to him.  She is more than his half, she is his life.  "Jehovah", he says "will not let him down...she will be healed."  I share with him that sometimes God heals on this side of heaven and sometimes on the otherside.

I relay messages back and forth from the medical team to the husband.  "She is on a machine helping her to breath" I explain to him.  "If it were not for the machine, she would not be alive" I gently try to tell him.  Hoping somehow to begin to prepare this man for the inevitable.  My team member continues to pray with him, I continue to wait for news.

"She is somewhat stable." I tell him.  "You'll  be able to be with her in a few minutes."

As I walk back to my cabin.  I am numb.  What a day.  I stare at the cursor on the screen blinking on an off like a heart beat.  The heart.  Two broken today.

"On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night.  Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.  My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me." Psalms 63:6-7

"Maintenance..."

One of the things about living on a ship is that it is in need of continual maintenance.  This may consist of many different aspects from cleaning tanks, to replacing rods in the cooling system, to continual painting.  But before the new coat of paint can go on the old needs to come off.  Now we live on a metal ship.  The way to get paint off of a metal ship is by needle gun. Now for someone who has never heard of needle gunning before, it sounds rather like a Woodpecker.  Now think of a Woodpecker resonating through a metal hull.  So we have had the delight of the needle gunning outside our cabin.

Ropes are anchored from Deck 8 and the Day Volunteers work over the side on the side of the ship.  I am glad it is not me on the plank!  But we are truly thankful for their work to keep our home looking wonderful.

"Priceless..."

I love the commercial on TV where someone says for example:  "a chocolate bar-$1.25; a can of coke $1.00; time together-priceless. "  These pictures to me are priceless...

PRICELESS!!!

"Flowers..."

After being on the ship for almost 3 weeks straight, we decided to go to a local hotel and use their pool for the day.  It had been a really rough week.  Our days were like this: 

• Last Saturday we almost had a patient die-
•  Monday at a screening we had on the ship, we had to tell several patients they either had cancer or were HIV positive-
• Two young boys were diagnosed with Burketts (a type of cancer) which is sad but good because it is one of the cancer that they can treat here in Togo if dealt with quickly-
• Thursday a couple of patients were sent home because their conditions were inoperable-the kids are the toughest for me...
• By Friday I was exhausted after struggling all week with a cold that was affecting my sinuses and taking all my energy and strength...
• Mike had some really frustrating things happen in his department also-

So we went to one of the local hotels and "vegged"by the pool for the day.  It was perfect.  Not too humid -not too hot.  Great cloud cover so we did not burn.  And the pool basically to ourselves.

While everyone was resting (read: sleeping) I scouted out these great flowers.  As you know I like to take different pictures of the local vegetation.  Outside of the hotel areas, vegetation exists in the form of sand and palm trees.  Inside the hotels I found these amazing flowers-and some had the sweetest fragrances.

Most of these flowers and very small and grow on a spindle of a branch.  I realize this last picture is not a flower, but I thought it was a very unique tree.

The other great thing about this hotel is they had GRASS!!  Real, soft, green grass. In light of the last week and previous weeks I have really grown to appreciate the small  and simple things in life-green grass, flowers,  family, friends, African drums and singing. 

"... Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?... See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you... So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ... your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Mt 6:25-34

"The Academy..."

Yesterday was picture day for the Academy. 

"Infant Feeding Program..."

One of the programs that Mercy Ships has is the Infant Feeding Program. Babies that are born with a cleft lip and pallette have a difficult time feeding and putting on weight. Before the babies can have surgery to repair their cleft lips, they have to be healthy and thriving.

  This mom was from Benin and her son was born in December just after the ship sailed to Tenerife.  When the ship pulled into Togo, she was on the dock waiting for us with her son...our first patient in Togo. 

A few of our nurses work with the mom's and teach them how to feed their babies.

This mom had twins (Anne and Annie).  They weigh barely two pounds each.

This little one also had casts put on to help her legs.

"Happy Birthday..."

Today was Joshua's 12th Birthday.  One of the things we do on the ship for birthdays is decorate the door of the person in honor them.

Joshua was very anxious this morning to open his presents....but I (Deb) made him wait till noon because of a 7am meeting.

 

Now, Joshua had to wait for Mike...he was finishing up lunch....pure agony for a kid!!

He had a great day and we are thankful for the precious gift that God has given to us in Joshua!

"Netbooks..."

Tonight was an exciting time for the high school students in the Academy.  Eighteen months ago, Nikki, the Academy Principal put in a request for laptops for the student.  Tonight, with much anticipation, the students gathered in the Academy to receive their "netbooks".

The plan for the "netbooks" is for the students to use them just like a textbook.  They will become an integral part of the high school classes.

Alisia and Lara waiting proudly and anxiously for permission to begin to use the "netbooks".

(Thanks Dag for the pictures!)

"Fun Things..."

Here are some fun pictures that I have been able to take in the last few weeks.  Two weekends ago we went to one of the local pools for the day to relax.  There were a group of families from the ship at the pool and the kids came across this frog.  This poor frog tried to escape the clutches of the kids but alas, he was caught.

This is the first frog I have seen in Africa.

One thing we do see a lot of...everywhere...are these lizards.  They are all over.  They are actually quite entertaining to watch...even in church!   The colored ones, like here, are more aggressive toward the smaller sand colored lizards.

He posed so nice for this picture!

Togo has some beautiful beaches.  However, we are told that they are not safe to go to.  It is really very sad.  This sign was posted outside of the pool where we were swimming.

So I stood by the sign and took this picture of the beach. 

Then the sunset.  This is one of the rare sunsets that I have seen.  There is very high humidity at night and a lot of cloud cover.  I just happened to be at the right side (actually port side) of the ship that night with my camera.

Then finally, the family potluck.  We try as families to get together a few times an Outreach to have a Potluck.  It is really a great time of fellowship.   I am always amazed at how creative people are with the limited resources we have for groceries.

"Harsh Reality..."

I read this post on one of our nurses blogs.  I remember seeing this 14 year old girl on the ward the other day....smiling and excited...then she received the news...

This is copied from Ali's blog...

"We couldn't do it.


The discussions went on through the morning, with doctors weighing pros and cons and reviewing x-rays and trying to see their way clear. But at the end of it all, the message was delivered to me in the ward. It's a no. We can't do the spinal, and her condition's not bad enough to risk it under general.

And yet again I'm faced with the reality that where you are born so often determines the course of your life. Because this little girl was born in a village in West Africa, there was nothing that could be done when her parents saw that her leg was twisted. Because Togo has just one doctor for every twenty-five thousand people, there was nowhere to go, no way to have it corrected.

It feels so wrong that we started to show her a way out, allowed her to hope maybe for the first time and then were forced to pull that hope out from under her and pray that she doesn't break when she falls.

I could see the tears in her eyes when she left today, dressed in her Sunday best, the clothes she had picked out to come to the ship for the surgery that she isn't going to get. I watched her walk slowly down the hall, her head weaving side to side with the broken rhythm of her walk, and I wanted to scream. To beat my fists against the walls and rail against the unfairness of it all. But instead I watched her, watched her walk away with her strange, jerky grace, and I prayed that I could learn to hold my head just as high as she did in the face of disappointment and pain.

And as her hand came to rest for a fleeting second on her still-flat belly, I prayed that she would teach her baby to be just as strong as she is."

This week we have faced many harsh realities of life in Togo.  Having to tell people they are HIV positive...a young girl she's pregnany and can't have surgery...crippling fear that sends you home before your surgery...

But when all is said and done, almost to the person that has been rejected for surgery for whatever reason, you ask them:  "How are you, are your okay?"  the reply will be: "tres bien" (very good).  I asked a translator why the answer is always  "very good" when the surgery that was hoped for and seen as a last chance can't happen...how can this be said?  The answer to me was:  "Because God is God and He is still incontrol and they have faith someday they will be healed."  I was humbled and challenged-to say the least!  The bottom line, no matter the situation, is that God is God and in control even in the harsh realities of life.

"Screening Update"

We are still doing screenings for surgery.  In fact, we will do about 30 screenings in total.  Yesterday during one of our meetings, it was reported that we had already had around 6000 people come to our screenings.  The sad fact is, that only a handful of the people we will able to help with surgery.  Many though will benefit from our eye and dental clinics, which we are very thankful for.

"This is a drill..."

About every two weeks, while we are in port, over the PA system you will hear a loud alarm go off followed by the words:  "This is a drill, this is a drill, this is a drill...fire/smoke is reported in...place.  All emergency teams to your stations."  A few moments later seven short alarms followed by one long alarm will be heard over the system, followed by:  "This is a drill, this is a drill, this is a drill all crew report to your muster stations."  At that point every crew member and day volunteer walk off of the ship onto the dock to gather for roll call.  This last Thursday, we practised evacuating the hospital-the middle school and high school students participated as patients.

Alisia is supposed to be a blind patient but had to smile for the camera.

This last picture is of Joshua preteding to be a doctor during the open house.